


I loved Her and She hated Me

by graveltotempo



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Erica And Lydia Are Twins, Erica-centric, Friendship, Lydia-centric, Missing Scene, Sadness, Sister-Sister Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-16
Updated: 2016-07-16
Packaged: 2018-07-24 09:21:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7502853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/graveltotempo/pseuds/graveltotempo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erica Reyes had always claimed to hate her twin sister Lydia Martin.<br/>But maybe... maybe Erica had never hated her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I loved Her and She hated Me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bleep0bleep](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bleep0bleep/gifts), [eeyore9990](https://archiveofourown.org/users/eeyore9990/gifts).



> So, yeah. Can you imagine if Lydia and Erica were twin sisters?

Erica couldn’t remember a time when it didn’t happen, when this wasn’t a normal occurrence in her life. There ought to be a time when she didn’t hate her twin sister so much, but she couldn’t for the love of it find it. She wasn’t even sure how it started, or even when. But for as long as she could remember, she had always hated Lydia Martin.

_ Lydia couldn’t remember a time when it didn’t happen, when this wasn’t a normal occurrence in her life. There ought to be a time when her twin sister didn’t hate her so much, but she couldn’t for the love of it find it. She wasn’t even sure how it started, or even when. But for as long as she could remember, Erica Reyes had always hated her. _

* * *

Her earliest memory, was of herself, her mother, father and sister, standing in the middle of her grandmother’s house, talking and laughing with each other. Well, her parents were laughing and talking; Erica was sulking.

It was another of those stupid dinner parties that her parents insisted in participating to, and, in theory, they were supposed to bring their twins, the ‘apples of their eyes’, to the party. In fact, they were going to be taking Lydia, and Lydia alone.

They were currently covering the strawberry blonde girl in nice expensive dresses and taking pictures of her, while cooing over how adorable she was. Erica, instead, was supposed to stay home, because she was _sick._

Erica wasn’t really that sick. Earlier that day she had an attack of what later in life would become her curse. Her parents had seemed freaked out by it (probably already imagining what would happen if she had one of those while they were at a party or something) and had decided that she would stay home with her grandparents.

And Lydia had looked at her, with her stupid green eyes and smiled prettily at her, like the fake princess she was. “Why can’t you come? You don’t look sick.” She had affirmed, all pretty dress and freshly made hair.

And Erica had wanted to bit her and kick her. Instead she had glared. “Well, you don’t look stupid, and yet,” she had answered, enjoying the way Lydia had visibly flinched back, a sad expression appearing on her face. Erica had then proceeded to ignore her mother and father calling her back and telling her to apologize and had instead disappeared back in her bedroom, snapping the door shut.

_ One of Lydia’s earliest memories of Erica was of when she was not older than 4. She remembered standing with her mother and father, all of them dressed up while Erica stood in the doorway, looking at Lydia’s dressings with a wistful expression. _

_ Erica was always beautiful in Lydia’s opinion. She didn’t need to dress up to be cute, and she had long blonde hair that her mother combed every day before preschool. When she smiled, her entire face lit up like a Christmas tree, and Lydia wanted her to always smile. It didn’t even feel like they were twins; Erica was always so much prettier than her. _

_ They were supposed to be going to a stupid function that Lydia didn’t even want to attend with her sister, let alone without, but Erica had had an attack of something earlier, and she couldn’t come anymore. Her mother insisted she was sick, but Erica didn’t look sick. She looked splendid as usual. _

_ She frowned at her twin sister. “Why can’t you come? You don’t look sick.” She had said, and Erica had looked up at her in surprise. _

_ Then her face made an angry expression that Lydia couldn’t even understand why it was directed at her. “Well, you don’t look stupid, and yet,” she had said, and Lydia had been hurt. She couldn’t figure out why was Erica angry at her, and before she could ask, the girl was gone. _

* * *

But Erica hadn’t always hated Lydia, of course. Maybe she didn’t like her, but she appreciated her. They played together sometimes, and had fun, she supposed. But there was always that feeling that she wasn’t enough when she was with Lydia, that feeling that her sister was the queen and Erica was just a random serving maid, or a threat that Lydia wanted to destroy.

It culminated on the day when their parents had decided they were going to Disneyland. Lydia had been withdrawn and anxious the entire week the trip had been announced, disappearing in her bedroom with one of the shiny new laptops their father had bought them, searching for something. In retrospect, Erica should have realised sooner that something was up.

She had kept staring at her sister as they prepared to pack their things to Disneyland, until she had exploded. “You can’t go to Disneyland.”

Everyone had frozen, Erica with an offended expression on her face, while their parents looked at each other with a frown. “Lydia, that’s not a nice thing to say to your sister,” had started Nathalie Martin, but the strawberry blonde had interrupted her mother.

“Mom, I researched. Those are not panic attacks she’s been having, I looked! Just take her to a doctor, you’ll see I’m right, mom! She’s epileptic. And Disneyland is not safe if we don’t know what kind of epilepsy she has!” The words were said bluntly and with a hint of concern.

Erica doesn’t remember what she had thought at the moment. But she remembered what she had said. Because even as a kid, she knew that whatever Lydia had said was probably right, and that it was something that might completely destroy Erica. She watched her parents arguing aloud with each other and concentrated on Lydia’s face. “Thank you for ruining my life.”

_ Lydia still remembered the day her and Erica’s relationship had completely deteriorated. Because, whatever she thought or said, they weren’t always arguing and fighting. There was a point in Lydia’s life where she was almost sure she could say that her and Erica had basically been friends. And then Disneyland happened. _

_ Lydia had always been a bright kid, and after her sister had had two more of those ‘panic attacks’ she had started researching. Because she didn’t believe that panic attacks actually looked like that. And what was Erica panicking about anyway? _

_ So she had looked into it, searched about it, and found out the truth of what it might be. Found out what epilepsy was, and matched the symptoms to Erica’s attacks. And then found out about Disneyland and their policies for epileptic users/customers. And she hadn’t liked what she found out. _

_ She knew Erica wouldn’t be happy about it, but she couldn’t keep it to herself. So she had spoken up. Watched Erica’s offended face when she said, “You can’t go to Disneyland.” She had barely heard what her mother was saying, her eyes trained on her sister’s face. “Mom, I researched. Those are not panic attacks she’s been having, I looked! Just take her to a doctor, you’ll see I’m right, mom! She’s epileptic. And Disneyland is not safe if we don’t know what kind of epilepsy she has!”  _

_ Erica’s face hadn’t changed, and she had remained completely unreadable as chaos reigned in the small house. Lydia heart was hammering in her chest, and something about the look in Erica’s face made her want to curl in a ball and cry. “Thank you for ruining my life.” Said Erica, and Lydia felt her whole world crumble _ .

* * *

Erica thought that maybe Lydia wanted to make things better, but she really, really didn’t. When her and the parents came back for Disneyland, the first thing she said was, “Disneyland really sucked without you.” Erica had glared at her.

“I, instead, was having an amazing time at home, alone, without my entire family because you convinced them that I have some kind of disease- oh wait.” She then had left.

_ Lydia had tried to make it better once she got back to Beacon Hills. She had wanted Erica to understand that she loved her, and that it had been hard without her. “Disneyland really sucked without you.” She had told her. _

_ Erica had looked at her with a scowl on her beautiful face. “I, instead, was having an amazing time at home, alone, without my entire family because you convinced them that I have some kind of disease- oh wait.” _

_ That night, alone in her new separate bedroom, Lydia hid her face in the pillow and cried _ .

* * *

Her epilepsy worsened, and Erica was admitted in hospital. She was half glad, since it meant she wasn’t subjected to her parents continued fighting. It made her head hurt and spinlot. That was when she saw Stiles Stilinski for the first time in her life. 

He was there with his father, awkward looking at ten years old, with his hair cut too short and adorable tees and comic shirts. He didn’t use to wear a lot of plaid back then. 

He was nice to her, didn’t treat her any different than he would treat someone at school. His mother was in the same room as Erica, and she often read stories to both of them, and Stiles would sit next to her on the bed, sharing his batman and Cat woman blanket with her. She developed a crush on him almost instantaneously.

And then he ruined it. 

“You’re Lydia’s sister, right?” he asked, one day when his mother was already asleep and he was waiting for his dad to pick him up. Erica had looked at him warily and nodded.

He had smiled, bright and big and asked, “Does she talk about me? I sat behind her in maths? She’s super smart, by the way, but people don’t seem to notice, I don’t even get it, but she’s really pretty! You are pretty too, obviously, you are Lydia’s sister! But I’m going off topic, does Lydia talk about me?”

Erica had stared at him for a while, willing the tears to stop welling in her eyes, willing herself to understand that this wasn’t Lydia’s fault, Lydia hadn’t asked Stiles to fall in love with her, she didn’t know, she…

_ kept ruining her life. _

She smiled at him. “Yes. She talks about you all the time. You should ask her out.” Stiles had lit up in disbelief, and Erica had stopped smiling and hidden her face in her pillow, claiming to be tired. She was positive Stiles didn’t even notice.

_ When Lydia found out her parents were splitting, she nearly had a panic attack. Because she knew what was coming next. “We’ve decided that since you and your sister don’t get along, one of you will come with your father and the other with me.” Her mother said, and Lydia wanted to scream. Her mother didn’t look happy about it, but her dad was a lawyer. He had lawyer friends. If they ended up taking it to court, chances were he would take away both children. _

_ “Lydia, who do you want to go with?” asked her mother, gently. Lydia didn’t even know what made them think asking her while they were waiting to go and visit her twin sister was a good idea. _

_ “I want to go with Erica.” She had whispered, and then jumped on her feet running away towards her sister’s hospital room. Her parents didn’t follow her. _

_ Erica shared her room with the mother of one of their classmate, Stilinski something. WheN Lydia entered, the older woman was asleep, and Erica was in the room alone, face half hidden in the pillow. Her cheeks were still tear strained, and she was staring at Lydia with newfound loathing. _

_ Lydia had swallowed and blinked away her own tears. “Mom and dad are splitting.” She had told her, and Erica’s face morphed into something else. Her gaze was searching, and Lydia wasn’t sure what she found in her eyes, but she sighed. _

_ “You manage to ruin my life whatever you do. But,” Lydia looked down at her feet, biting back a sob, “the bed is big enough. We can share.” _

_ Lydia climbed on the bed, and held tight on Erica. And she knew neither of them would ever mention it again, but the hands around her shoulders were just as tight _ .

* * *

For Erica, High School was hell. She barely had any friends, (did Stiles coming to complain about what great thing Lydia Martin was make him a friend?) and despite being deemed stable enough to go school, her panic attacks were just as bad as always.

And Lydia? Lydia was now the queen of the school, just like Erica predicted she would be. At school, nobody knew that Lydia had a sister, except Stiles. Nobody knew that Erica was Lydia’s sister. They didn’t even live together, so there wasn’t any reason for someone to know.

Erica wasn’t bothered. She knew she would eventually lead Lydia to hate her too. It was fine. She didn’t even care about Lydia; Erica wouldn’t care if she died in a ditch.

She didn’t care.

_ For Lydia, High School was hell. She barely had any friends, (real one at least) and the only person that seemed to get her was her boyfriend, Jackson. But even Jackson didn’t know anything about her.  _

_ He didn’t know that the first thing Lydia did every morning was sign in at the office so that she could check is Erica was in school. He didn’t know that she picked the seat in the center of the classroom not because she wanted to be the star, but because she had a neat view of the entire class. He didn’t know that she had learned First Aid in case something happened in class and Erica needed her help. He didn’t know. No one knew. _

_ And he would never know. No one would ever know, because no one really spoke to Lydia. She was just a pretty face, in a pretty dress, with pretty shoes and a pretty boyfriend. She wasn’t a person. _

_ She was a prize for her mother, who ‘won’ her from her father. And for Erica? Erica didn’t even know she existed. _

* * *

Erica was one of the last to visit Lydia after she was attacked by a ‘mountain lion’. Not because she didn’t care, but because… she was scared. She was scared of Lydia dying, because she might have hated her (she didn’t) but she didn’t want her dead.

When she walked in, Stiles was asleep in a chair in a corner, and her parents were both long gone. She kneeled silently next to the bed.

Her hair was sprawled on the pillow and she was clean of blood. The bite mark was not healing, and she wasn’t either. She was just peacefully asleep on the small bed.

Erica looked at her and kissed her on cheek. “Please don’t die.” She begged, and unsubtly wiped her tear. But it was fine. Lydia was asleep and she would never know Erica had been there.

_ Lydia was awake _ .

* * *

When she got the bite, Erica felt suddenly powerful. Walking in the canteen in her high heels and giving the boys that had made fun of her a flirtatious look that they couldn’t resist, aware of the arousal they reeked of, and knowing she did that. She made them feel like that.

“What. the holy hell. is _that_?” Lydia. Of course it was Lydia. Lydia with her wide green eyes, looking scared for her, for Erica. But Erica was powerful now.

She sneered, giving her a too wide smile, too bright and too animal. Fucking Lydia. 

_ When Erica walked into the room, mini skirt riding on her legs, a bright lipstick on and a foreign smirk on her face, Lydia had stared at her uncomprehendly for a few minutes, because that wasn’t her sister. She… wasn’t? “What the holy hell is that?” she said, aloud, and Erica turned to look at her.  _

_ Her mouth moved in a seducing smile and she winked at the guy she stole the apple from, before walking away on her heels, not glancing back again. _

_ Something hurt in Lydia’s chest. _

* * *

“So what, you think Lydia Martin’s the kanima?” asked Isaac, and Erica snapped out of her daydreaming and zoned back into the conversation.

Derek shrugged. “We checked Jackson. It doesn’t seem like it’s him, so…”

The werewolves turned to glance at Erica, who’s heart was beating faster and crazier. “So what, you’re going to kill her?” she asked, looking at the man, at her Alpha with wide eyes.

The Alpha looked wary. “She’s killing people. For no reason, she’s out of control. We have to put her down.”

Erica didn’t answer, just stared at him for a long time. Isaac twitched nervously. “Oh, come on. No one even actually likes Lydia except three people maybe. No one will care if she dies. You don’t even like her! She dies-”

He didn’t get a chance to finish. Erica was on him in mere second, sending punch after punch, half wolfed out with crazy eyes, snarling into the other beta’s face.

Derek pushed her off him too soon, and broke her arms for what she did. But when Erica started crying in Boyd’s chest, it wasn’t for the pain in her arms.

_ Lydia watched Derek’s pack from the window disappear after the kanima, as tears rolled down her cheeks. Erica was part of Derek’s pack, and Derek’s pack had been ready to kill her. _

_ Erica had been ready to kill her. _

_ She thought she was over it. Erica hated her? She thought she was okay with it. But she wasn’t. She was never going to be okay with Erica wanting her dead. She wished Erica loved, wished they could have each other, wished it was Erica and Lydia Martin against the world. _

_ No one understood. Not even Stiles. “Why can’t you hate her? She has no problem with that! Lydia, she freaking wants you dead, she’s a nutjob! You should hate her!” _

_ Lydia cried harder. “I can’t hate her, Stiles. She’s my sister.” He didn’t understand. Lydia didn’t blame him. “I love her, and she hates me. And I hope it wasn’t like this.” _

* * *

Lydia was awake when Erica slithered inside her bedroom, silent like a snake. She was sat on her bed, hair not tied and face void of all make up. She looked infinitely younger.

“I’m leaving.” Spoke Erica, and Lydia didn’t even startle at her voice. She looked up and gave a weak smile.

“I know.”

Finally, Erica moved closer to the bed. “I’m sorry,” and this caught Lydia by surprise. “I’m sorry I ever hated you. I know it’s not your fault our parents treated us differently, it’s not your fault I’m epileptic, it’s not your fault Stiles has a crush on you. And I’m sorry I always blamed you.”

Lydia had a small gentle smile on her lips. “You never really hated me.”

_ Lydia remembered Erica coming into her room, at night, before she was admitted to the hospital for the first time. She recalled her singing her to sleep, or reading a story when she thought Lydia was already asleep. She couldn’t forget Erica tip toeing in her bedroom and cleaning her face from snot and tears, fluffing her pillow and fixing the blanket over her. _

_ Erica never really hated her _ .

“You knew.” Not a question. A statement.

“I knew.” A statement.

Erica closed her eyes, smiling softly and then crying. Stifling her sobs and listening to Lydia crying, two sisters holding on to each other. “I missed you Lydia.”

Lydia held tight on her. “I never left. I never left.” She repeated in her shoulder.

* * *

“You know; Lydia will be happy when I’m done with you. She never liked you.” Said Allison with a smirk, twirling the arrow with her fingers.

Erica, for the first time that night, smiled bloodly at her. “She loves me. And once she finds out what you did? She will never forgive you.”

Allison glared at her. “Good thing she will never find out.”

* * *

_ Lydia never found out until after Allison died, when she went through the girl’s diaries. She isn’t sure she would have ever trusted or forgave Allison if she did. _

* * *

_ The last time Lydia saw Erica’s body, was before she was cremated. Before they burned her sister. _

_ With her bouncy blonde hair and her brown eyes full of life. Her beautiful, gorgeous sister.  _

* * *

_ But Lydia is a banshee. And Erica promised she would never leave her. and she hadn’t. _

* * *

“You are a ghost now. Can you do anything… strange?” Erica rolled her eyes at Lydia, making the strawberry blonde laugh.

Then she bent on a table, scratching on a table with her hands, tracing letters with her fingers. When she was done, she showed the result to Lydia.

_ Erica Reyes and Lydia Martin: forever. _

Maybe Erica had never hated her.


End file.
